|
April 1, 2010 Read: Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house. But Peter was following at a distance. When they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them. Then a servant-girl, seeing him in the firelight, stared at him and said, "This man also was with him." But he denied it, saying, "Woman, I do not know him." A little later someone else, on seeing him, said, "You also are one of them." But Peter said, "Man, I am not!" Then about an hour later still another kept insisting, "Surely this man also was with him; for he is a Galilean." But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are talking about!" At that moment, while he was still speaking, the cock crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times." Think About: Join yourself at the cross. Remember, He died only yesterday. You are not a prophet. You have no idea what will happen tomorrow, Sunday, the first day of the week. God loves you. You forgive others as you would have others forgive you. But at the cross, there is still a weight on your soul. The weight that remains is greater than that released by confession; greater than that relieved by forgiving the struggles with your neighbors. What could it be? How can there still be trouble in your soul. As you remain at the cross, you begin to think about your life. I haven't done so badly. Let's go through the Ten Commandments. Theft, no. Love God, yes. Adultery, no. (Well, I did look at my fellow churchgoer's good looking spouse a second too long.) No, no, that's not the same, I hope. I am following the rules, I am a good member of my church. But you know the real truth. I made some mistakes. I gossiped. I didn't always help another in need. But these are not the real burdens, not the real confessions. If confessed, these are easily released. Life is gnawing at your soul. The chances you didn't take, the opportunities you missed, the times that fear or loneliness or procrastination kept you in a rut, and kept you from your dreams. That kept you from answering God's true call on your life. You know what they are. You know that those struggles are in the deepest place in your soul, too powerful to think about, too overwhelming to contemplate. They are hidden and buried. And they are killing you. God can forgive anything. I can forgive anything anyone ever did to me. But I cannot forgive myself. That is the hardest person to forgive - myself. Why didn't I... why didn't I... what was I thinking? You know that the hardest battle of all is the battle within. At last your soul is truly bared, and truly open. Again you weep. Practice: Contemplate your life. Dig deep in your soul, see if there is a long lost dream. Consider if your dream is still possible. Pray this Prayer: Oh God, help me have the courage to explore my soul. You already know my hurts and disappointments; and where I have disappointed myself. Hold my soul gently. Help me to forgive myself. Amen. You are invited and encouraged to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with the spiritual practices at the Lenten Devotional Blog. We are on this journey together and your words may help another along the way. Having problems viewing this page? Click here to view it online. Click here to be removed from the Lent Daily Devotions © 2010 St. Luke's United Methodist Church at Windermere |
